Digested week: Sometimes it feels the clocks do nothing else but go back | Lucy Mangan

The clocks have gone back, and with them, a sense of bewilderment that seems to strike at the same time every year. As we adjust our schedules, it's as if the world is being rewritten according to an invisible calendar that defies logic. The more one thinks about it, the more absurd it becomes - why should the very fabric of time be subject to this arbitrary shift? It's a rite of passage, perhaps, but also a reminder of the inherent futility of human endeavor.

Meanwhile, in the world of social media, women are being forced to use three times as many exclamation marks in their emails. The reason for this, according to "Sexism Maths", is that men have an unfair advantage when it comes to being perceived as neutral and objective. Women must therefore compensate by sounding more enthusiastic and agreeable, lest their words be dismissed out of hand. It's a subtle yet insidious form of sexism that reinforces the notion that women are inherently emotional and attention-seeking.

On a related note, oysters have become the latest social media sensation - people are eating them on camera, extolling their health benefits and sustainable credentials. But for those who have actually tried an oyster before, it's hard not to recoil at the sight of someone willingly consuming something that resembles a noxious bivalve. And then there are influencers trying to contact isolated Indigenous tribes in the Amazon rainforest, in the name of "self-discovery" and "cultural exchange". It's a cynical attempt to profit from their authenticity, while ignoring the very real risks and consequences of disrupting these ancient communities.

In other news, Prince Andrew has been stripped of his royal title after revelations about his association with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. His removal from the royal family is a long-overdue response to the mounting evidence of his complicity in covering up Epstein's crimes. As for the Prince himself, it's clear that he will be suffering the consequences of his actions - and not just financially.

In short, the world seems to be spinning out of control at times. The clocks go back, oysters are eaten on camera, and influencers try to profit from Indigenous culture. It's enough to make one feel like the universe is conspiring against us.
 
omg i dont get why we gotta change our clocks every year its like the world is just trolling us ๐Ÿคฃ and i'm really confused about why women have to use way more exclamation marks in their emails like whats the deal with that? its so unfair ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ and have you seen those oysters on instagram lately? people are literally eating them on camera and pretending they're some kinda superfood ๐Ÿš๐Ÿคข i mean id rather not eat something that looks like a noxious bivalve than pretend to be all about it ๐Ÿ˜‚ and can we please just leave the Indigenous tribes alone? its so disingenuous when influencers try to profit from their culture without even understanding the history or context behind it ๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿ’”
 
Ugh, I mean... clocks going back again ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ? Like, what's the point of even having a calendar anymore? Just a bunch of humans trying to be efficient, but really we're all just stumbling around in the dark, adjusting our schedules every few months like some sort of bizarre, seasonal ritual. And don't even get me started on oysters being a thing ๐Ÿš... I mean, who thought it was a good idea to eat something that's basically a cross between a rock and a slug? And then there are these influencers trying to "connect" with Indigenous tribes in the Amazon... no thanks, just profit from their culture. It's like we're all just one big, messy, attention-seeking experiment ๐Ÿคฏ...
 
Ugh ๐Ÿ™„, can't believe people think it's a good idea to force women to use more exclamation marks in their emails just because of sexism ๐Ÿ˜’! Like, what's next? Forcing everyone to wear funny hats on Fridays just to prove a point? Get over it already! ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ

And don't even get me started on oysters ๐Ÿคข, I mean, who thought it was a good idea to film people eating them on camera like they're some kind of exotic delicacy? Newsflash: they smell bad and can be super gross ๐Ÿšฝ. And what's up with the whole "oyster is healthy" hype? Just because it's low in calories doesn't mean it's worth eating by the ton ๐Ÿคฎ.

And those influencers who think they can just waltz into Indigenous communities and try to profit from their culture are just plain rude ๐Ÿ‘Ž. Like, have you ever even tried living off the land like those people do? I doubt it ๐Ÿ˜‚. It's not about "self-discovery" or "cultural exchange", it's just a bunch of rich people trying to cash in on something they don't understand ๐Ÿค‘.

As for Prince Andrew, finally someone who's getting what's coming to them ๐Ÿ‘. He should have covered up Epstein's crimes when he had the chance, not waited until everyone else caught on and he got stripped of his title ๐Ÿ˜’. Karma's a beautiful thing, I suppose ๐Ÿ’ฏ
 
I mean, can you even wrap your head around a system where our daily routines are dictated by a bunch of arbitrary rules? I'm talking about that whole clock change thing... it's just so mystifying. And on top of that, we've got this whole sexism maths thing going on, where women are expected to be more enthusiastic in their emails just because of their gender. Like, what even is the logic behind that?

And then there's social media taking oysters as a trend, like they're some sort of superfood or something ๐Ÿคฃ. I mean, have any of these people actually tried one? They look disgusting! And don't even get me started on influencers trying to contact Indigenous tribes for "self-discovery" purposes... it's just so cringeworthy.

It feels like the world is just a big mess right now, and sometimes I wonder if we're all just sleepwalking through life without really paying attention.
 
๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜’ what's up with the clocks going back again? it's like our brains are already trying to adjust for it and then BAM! another sudden shift ๐Ÿคฏ. I mean, can't we just have a standard schedule for once? ๐Ÿ™„

and omg don't even get me started on social media ๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ. women using more exclamation marks in emails is soooo not okay ๐Ÿšซ. it's like, sexism maths or whatever, but seriously who says women can't be objective and neutral too? ๐Ÿค”

oysters are literally the weirdest thing right now ๐Ÿš๐Ÿด. eating them on camera and pretending they're some sort of superfood ๐ŸŒฟ. and don't even get me started on influencers in Amazon rainforest trying to "self-discover" and "cultural exchange"... ๐Ÿ‘€

Prince Andrew getting stripped of his royal title is about time ๐Ÿ‘‘. he's been dodgy for way too long ๐Ÿคซ. but I feel bad for him... I mean, who hasn't made some questionable decisions at some point? ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

anyway... just feels like the world is getting more confusing by the minute ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ. maybe it's time to just stick with a standard schedule and forget about oysters? ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ
 
I don't know man, I'm so confused about this whole thing... ๐Ÿคฏ Like, why do we need clocks to go back every year? Can't we just stick with the old schedule already? ๐Ÿ˜’ And then there's these women on social media who have to use like 3 times more exclamation marks in their emails or they're judged for being too boring. I mean, isn't it just common courtesy to be enthusiastic and stuff? ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

And oysters are literally the newest thing on Instagram and everyone's obsessed with them. Like, people eat them on camera and talk about how great they are for your health... but have you ever actually tried one before? ๐Ÿ˜ It's like, hello, oysters are gross!

I'm also really mad that influencers are trying to "connect" with Indigenous tribes in the Amazon rainforest just so they can sell their own brands on social media. Like, it's not cool at all. We need to respect these communities and their cultures, not use them for our own gain... or something? ๐Ÿค”

And Prince Andrew getting stripped of his royal title is about time, tbh. I mean, he's always been a bit shady with that whole Epstein thing going on. But still, it's kinda sad that the royal family has to deal with all this drama... ๐Ÿ˜
 
I mean can you believe the whole oyster thing? ๐Ÿคฃ Like who thought it was a good idea to film people eating raw oysters? ๐Ÿคช And don't even get me started on influencers trying to exploit Indigenous culture for clout... like, what's next? Paying attention ๐Ÿ™„. But you know who's not laughing? Prince Andrew ๐Ÿ‘‘. His whole royal title thing is kinda justified considering the Epstein scandal ๐Ÿšซ. I feel like we're living in some wild alternate universe where social media influencers think they can just do whatever and get away with it ๐Ÿ˜‚.
 
Ugh, clock change again ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ๐Ÿ™„, because who needs a stable schedule anyway? I swear, I was having a good thing going with my sleep schedule, and now it's all messed up ๐Ÿคฏ. And don't even get me started on the oyster trend - is it just me or do they look like something that's been left out too long in the fridge? ๐Ÿš๐Ÿ˜ท.

And can we please talk about the whole "Sexism Maths" thing for a sec? ๐Ÿ“Š๐Ÿ‘€ I mean, who comes up with this stuff? It's not like women are naturally more emotional or anything (although, let's be real, they're probably right). And what's next, telling us to use fewer words in our emails because it'll make us sound more professional? ๐Ÿ˜‚.

Anyway, Prince Andrew being stripped of his title is about time ๐Ÿ™Œ. I'm not saying he's innocent, but at least now we can all pretend like we knew what was going on behind the scenes ๐Ÿคซ. And those influencers trying to contact Indigenous tribes? ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‘Ž, please just stick to taking selfies in the Amazon and leave the cultural exchange for actual communities.
 
Ugh, it's that time again - you know, when people start complaining about the clock going back ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜’. Like, who thought this was a good idea anyway? It's not like we need more excuses to struggle with our sleep schedules.

And don't even get me started on oysters being Instagrammed ๐Ÿ“ธ๐Ÿš - it's just so cringeworthy. And have you seen the "health benefits" they're listing out? Like, no thanks ๐Ÿคข. I'll stick to my actual fruits and veggies, thank you very much.

But hey, at least Prince Andrew got stripped of his royal title ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ - that's some long-overdue karma right there. Poor guy, he must've been expecting a lifetime supply of bad PR ๐Ÿ“ฐ๐Ÿ˜ณ.
 
I'm getting a bit fed up with all these seasonal changes ๐Ÿคฏ. Why do we have to adapt to this every year? Can't we just stick to one rhythm for once? And don't even get me started on social media โ€“ women are being forced to sound all cheerful and friendly in emails, but I think it's more about trying to avoid being dismissed because of their sex ๐Ÿค”. Those oysters are a weird trend, too... I mean, who thought it was a good idea to eat something that looks like it belongs in the trash? ๐Ÿš And those influencers trying to connect with Indigenous tribes? It just feels like another example of people profiting off other cultures without understanding or respecting them ๐Ÿ’ธ.
 
๐Ÿ˜‚ what's next? oyster selfies? ๐Ÿคฃ

seriously though, sexism maths is a thing now? women have to be more enthusiastic to not get dismissed? ๐Ÿ™„ and oysters are just another social media trend? who cares about the poor guy eating it on camera? ๐Ÿคฎ
 
I mean... what's next? Are we gonna start paying people to do stuff just so they can say they tried it? Like, someone's just gonna be paid to eat an oyster on camera and then be all "oh, I'm a free spirit who loves trying new things!" Give me a break. And don't even get me started on the royal family drama... Prince Andrew getting stripped of his title is about time, but what's with all the fuss? It's just a bunch of rich people playing dress-up. ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ’ธ
 
I'm so over this clock thingy... I mean what's the point? We're just supposed to adjust our lives every 6 months or something? Like, can't we just have a normal routine for once?! ๐Ÿ™„ It's like the world is trying to drive me crazy! And don't even get me started on those oysters... who thought it was a good idea to eat them on camera? They're all slimy and gross, if you ask me. I mean, come on people, have some self respect! ๐Ÿคข And what's with these influencers trying to contact Indigenous tribes? It's like they think we can just waltz in there and start taking selfies or something. Can't they see the harm they're causing?! ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธ It's all just so... ugh, I don't even have words for it right now. The fact that Prince Andrew got stripped of his title is about the only good news to come out of this week, and even that feels like a small consolation when you think about all the other crazy stuff going on in the world. ๐Ÿ™
 
the whole idea of clocks going back feels like a total snooze fest to me ๐Ÿคฏ, i mean what's the point of adjusting our schedules just because some arbitrary calendar says so? it's all just a bit too much control over our lives, if you ask me. and don't even get me started on social media - three times as many exclamation marks for women is literally just another example of how we're still living in a sexist society ๐Ÿ™„.

and have you seen those oysters getting all the attention on social media? it's like people are trying to prove something by eating them and then talking about it ๐Ÿคฎ. and then there are these influencers trying to "connect" with Indigenous tribes, but really they're just exploiting their culture for their own gain ๐Ÿ˜’.

but at least prince andrew is getting the consequences he deserves - i mean who does that kind of stuff and expects to get away with it? ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ it's a good reminder that there are still people in power who will be held accountable for their actions.

anyway, the world might seem like it's spinning out of control, but at least we can take comfort in knowing that sometimes justice gets served ๐Ÿ™.
 
ugh what a mess ๐Ÿคฏ people cant even get basic things right anymore like clocks going back and expecting everyone to adjust again ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ and now social media has become a platform for reinforcing sexist stereotypes with all those extra exclamation marks ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ honestly who cares about being enthusiastic in emails its just a bunch of noise.
 
I'M SO FED UP WITH PEOPLE THINKING THAT WOMEN HAVE TO BE MORE ENTHUSIASTIC IN THEIR COMMUNICATION JUST BECAUSE OF GENDER ๐Ÿคฏ!!! IT'S LIKE, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE ROBOTS OR SOMETHING?! IT'S SO RIDICULOUS. AND ANOTHER THING, WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS THINK THAT OYSTERS ARE A THING? THEY'RE LIKE, FISHY SLIME WITH A SHELL ๐Ÿคข. I MEAN, IF YOU HAVEN'T TRIED ONE BEFORE, DON'T BE SHAMED TO ADMIT IT. AND AS FOR THE INFLUENCERS TRYING TO PROFIT FROM INDIGENOUS CULTURE... COME ON, PEOPLE. JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE. THEY'RE NOT SOME KIND OF EXOTIC TROPICAL ISLAND GETAWAY. IT'S TIME WE START RESPECTING THEIR CULTURES AND LIVES, RATHER THAN TRYING TO USE THEM FOR OUR OWN GAIN ๐Ÿ™
 
Ugh, can we 4 real talk about how ridiculous it is that ppl r makin a big deal outta oysters? Like, they're just a food and ppl r gettin all excited bout eatin them on camera ๐Ÿคฃ. And don't even get me started on influencers tryna profiteer off Indigenous culture - it's soooo basic. They should be like "nope, we're good" instead of tryna cash in on somethin thats not theirs.

And btw, who thought it was a good idea 2 have social media platforms dictate how many exclamation marks women shd use? Its like they r tryna control how ppl express themselves. Just chill, ppl ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

Prince Andrew's situation is def one 4 the books tho - his actions were super shady and now he's payin the price. But can we pls just talk about how weird it is that ppl still think oysters r a thing? ๐Ÿ˜‚
 
๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ I mean, can we talk about how weird it is that we still do this whole "clocks going back" thing? Like, what's up with that? ๐Ÿค” And don't even get me started on these new email rules - women have to be more enthusiastic? It's like, hello, sexism is real and needs to go away. ๐Ÿ˜’

And omg, oysters are literally the latest trend and people are eating them on camera... I got an oyster once and it was basically just a slimy rock in my mouth ๐Ÿคฎ. And then there's these influencers trying to be "authentic" with Indigenous tribes? No, they're not. It's all just about getting that perfect Instagram shot and profiting off someone else's culture. ๐Ÿ“ธ

But you know what's even more messed up? Prince Andrew getting stripped of his title. Like, it's about time, but I'm still surprised he managed to hide from the whole Epstein thing for so long. And now he'll have to deal with the consequences... poor guy. ๐Ÿ˜
 
Back
Top