"Lost and Disoriented: How Lockdown Made Me Question My Life"
When I was dropped from England's women's football team in early 2020, I found myself in a state of emotional chaos. For the first time, I felt disillusioned with the sport and uncertain about my future. As lockdown restrictions took hold, I began to question everything I thought I knew about myself.
The structured routine that had defined my life as a professional athlete was suddenly gone. No training sessions, no matches, no strict schedule to follow. It was both liberating and terrifying. For the first time in my adult life, I felt like I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. But this newfound freedom came with its own set of challenges.
I stopped answering my phone, preferring to indulge in mindless TV watching and snacking on junk food. My diet consisted of biscuits and instant noodles, while I struggled with insomnia and developed a dependence on vodka-infused drinks. I'd queue up for hours at the local supermarket, buying essential items like toilet paper, and yet still managed to find time to splurge on expensive gin.
As I navigated this dark period, I felt lost and disconnected from myself. The isolation was suffocating, and I began to wonder if I was truly cut out for life without football. Without the familiar rhythm of training and competition, I felt adrift, unsure of who I was or what I wanted to achieve.
For the first time in my life, I questioned whether there was any point to me being alive. The thought sent shivers down my spine, and I couldn't shake the feeling that death might be a welcome escape from this bleak reality. But it was only when I looked back on those dark days that I began to understand the true nature of my struggles.
I had been struggling with depression and anxiety, symptoms that were masked by the intense focus and drive required to succeed in professional football. Lockdown had laid bare these underlying issues, forcing me to confront the emotional turmoil that had been lurking beneath the surface.
As I look back on those difficult months, I realize that I was barely surviving at all. My life had become a desperate attempt to fill the void left by my lost identity as an athlete. But it was only when I stopped fighting and allowed myself to be vulnerable that I began to heal.
It's a hard-won lesson, one that has taken me years to learn. But if I can share my story with others, perhaps it might help them too – that even in the darkest of times, there is always hope, and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
When I was dropped from England's women's football team in early 2020, I found myself in a state of emotional chaos. For the first time, I felt disillusioned with the sport and uncertain about my future. As lockdown restrictions took hold, I began to question everything I thought I knew about myself.
The structured routine that had defined my life as a professional athlete was suddenly gone. No training sessions, no matches, no strict schedule to follow. It was both liberating and terrifying. For the first time in my adult life, I felt like I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. But this newfound freedom came with its own set of challenges.
I stopped answering my phone, preferring to indulge in mindless TV watching and snacking on junk food. My diet consisted of biscuits and instant noodles, while I struggled with insomnia and developed a dependence on vodka-infused drinks. I'd queue up for hours at the local supermarket, buying essential items like toilet paper, and yet still managed to find time to splurge on expensive gin.
As I navigated this dark period, I felt lost and disconnected from myself. The isolation was suffocating, and I began to wonder if I was truly cut out for life without football. Without the familiar rhythm of training and competition, I felt adrift, unsure of who I was or what I wanted to achieve.
For the first time in my life, I questioned whether there was any point to me being alive. The thought sent shivers down my spine, and I couldn't shake the feeling that death might be a welcome escape from this bleak reality. But it was only when I looked back on those dark days that I began to understand the true nature of my struggles.
I had been struggling with depression and anxiety, symptoms that were masked by the intense focus and drive required to succeed in professional football. Lockdown had laid bare these underlying issues, forcing me to confront the emotional turmoil that had been lurking beneath the surface.
As I look back on those difficult months, I realize that I was barely surviving at all. My life had become a desperate attempt to fill the void left by my lost identity as an athlete. But it was only when I stopped fighting and allowed myself to be vulnerable that I began to heal.
It's a hard-won lesson, one that has taken me years to learn. But if I can share my story with others, perhaps it might help them too – that even in the darkest of times, there is always hope, and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
lockdown was like a wild card for everyone, right? i mean, suddenly we're forced to reevaluate our lives & priorities... for me, it's been all about finding new routines & habits to get my productivity back on track 
i've been using the "2-minute rule" - if something can be done in less than 2 minutes, do it immediately! no more procrastinating 
Having to wait in line for hours at the supermarket just sounds like a fun adventure! And let's be real, who doesn't love a good junk food binge every now and then? The whole "struggling with depression and anxiety" thing is just a normal part of being human, if you ask me. I mean, we're all just trying to figure things out as we go, right? 
And yeah, sometimes it's okay to not have an identity outside of our passions or jobs. Maybe she was just feeling a little burnt out on football and needed some time to rediscover herself. Who knows, maybe this whole experience made her stronger and more resilient in the end! 
I feel like this lady's story is super relatable 
especially when she talks about how lockdown made her question everything about herself 
It's crazy how something as simple as losing our structure can lead to feeling lost and disconnected from ourselves 
And I'm not surprised she struggled with depression and anxiety - it's like, totally hidden under the surface of our intense emotions 
But what I love most is that she finally found hope after being vulnerable and allowing herself to heal 
It just goes to show that we're stronger than we think and seeking help is always an option 
. But the thing is, it's in those moments of darkness that we're forced to confront our underlying issues 
. But it's also kinda freeing, right? The freedom to stop fighting and just be vulnerable 
. And it takes a lot of strength to acknowledge them and seek help 
. So let's not be afraid to talk about our struggles, and maybe, just maybe, we can find some hope in the darkness 
.
. i was dyin over here thinkin 'bout how bad she felt about herself. but at the same time, it's like, we've all been dere, right? 
Lockdown sounds like a nightmare come true for anyone, but especially for someone who's already dealing with mental health issues like depression and anxiety 
. It's crazy how it can bring out the worst in us, making us question our purpose and identity 
.
️. And on top of that, she had these deep-seated issues with depression and anxiety that were just waiting to surface 
. But the thing that really resonates with me is how she talks about finding hope and healing through vulnerability 
who needs to go viral with their drama? 
i'm not saying the lockdown wasn't tough or that we shouldn't be empathetic, but can we please just have some real conversations about mental health without overhyping every personal struggle that comes out of it? 
️
It's no surprise your struggles with depression and anxiety came to the surface, especially when your identity was stripped away from something you loved.
Let's talk numbers: 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health issue each year, but only 30% of us seek help 
. That's why it's so important to normalize conversations around mental health and break the stigma.
It's amazing how we've come together to support each other during difficult times.
It's crazy to think how hard it can be to cope when you've been pushed out of your comfort zone – literally in this case, from the team. I mean, who wouldn't feel lost without a routine? The writer's honesty about struggling with depression and anxiety is really powerful 
The worst part is that she was using unhealthy coping mechanisms, like overeating and drinking, which isn't gonna help in the long run 
.
.
. It's like the structured routine that was your identity as an athlete, was taken away 
, leaving you with a sense of uncertainty and fear 
. But, it also gave you a chance to reflect on what you really wanted to achieve 
.
my mental health took a hit too anxiety attacks were EVERYTHING 
but on the bright side it made me realize how much i needed help 
and now im all about prioritizing self care 
. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's awesome that you were able to find some freedom in the chaos, but also... biscuits and instant noodles for breakfast? 
.
and my parents were like "what's wrong?" And then I realized I just needed some chill time to recharge... but back in the day we didn't have social media or Netflix, so we'd just play board games or something