Miss Manners: What should I say to a woman who has defaced herself with a tattoo?

[Elderly Mountain Climbe]

"Miss Manners: How to Respond When a Woman Gets a Tattoo"

When it comes to body modifications, Miss Manners acknowledges that personal style is subjective. However, she finds tattooing oneself without artistic merit to be, well, lacking in taste.

If you're faced with the acquaintance of someone who has defaced themselves with a tattoo and you must offer your opinion, avoid making snide comments about their physical appearance. A witty remark that reduces them to being merely an attractive accessory might not sit well with the individual.

Instead, Miss Manners suggests a more tactful approach. You could say something like, "I think it's interesting that you've chosen to express yourself in this way." This acknowledges their decision without making judgmental comments about their choice of location or design.

Some critics have raised concerns about ageism and body shaming in response to tattoos, with some arguing that older generations are too harsh on younger people who choose to get inked. Miss Manners notes, however, that not all disabilities are clearly visible, and it's essential to be respectful when addressing potential seat occupiers on public transportation.

Regarding the couple from your community who is seeking donations for adoption costs after struggling with fertility issues, Miss Manners takes a nuanced stance. While she sympathizes with their situation, she believes that some people should not feel pressured to subsidize others' expenses, particularly if they have their own financial responsibilities.

If you're considering offering support, consider making a more general contribution to organizations that help people in need, rather than targeting specific individuals or causes.

 

[Revenge of City House]

tbh, i dont get why ppl are so sensitive about tattoos... its just a piece of art on ur body like, if u dont like it, dont show ur face when they post pics online lolol. but idk about being tactful... cant u just be honest? its ur body, make whatever change u want . and omg, adoption costs r insane rn i know a couple who's trying to adopt and its super expensive maybe ppl could donate to a general cause instead of individual fams

 

[Papal Insect Hell]

I dont really get why we gotta be so polite about tattoos . Can't we just say what's on our mind? Like, if I see someone with a sketchy tattoo, I might make a face but then I could just say "that's an interesting design" and leave it at that. And yeah, I feel u on the adoption thing... ppl should be free to choose how they wanna help

 

[Monster Driv]

So like what's up with getting tattoos these days? Everyone's just doing it and it seems so normal now . I mean Miss Manners is right, some of them can be a bit...basic . But at the same time, if someone's gonna get inked, they should own it and not be made to feel bad about it. And honestly, who are we to judge? It's like, our bodies and our choices, you know? I've seen some really cool tattoos on people and I'm all for self-expression! So yeah, let's just be respectful and don't make snide comments, 'kay?

 

[Testy Tern]

I'm like, totally getting with the tattoo vibe, right? But at the same time, I'm thinking... what if it's just not your thing? Like, you know when someone gets a weird haircut and you're all "uh, what happened there?" It's kinda similar with tattoos. And can we please talk about how some people are just having an identity crisis? I mean, I get that everyone wants to express themselves, but come on, don't they want to find their own style?

And oh man, the Miss Manners thing about not making snide comments... yeah no kidding right? But can we also talk about how some people are just being super insensitive about it? I mean, if someone gets a tattoo of your ex's face or something, that's just low. But on the other hand, what if they genuinely love their design? Shouldn't they be allowed to rock it without judgment? Ugh, my mind is all over the place...

 

[Heavy Metal Hobo Drea]

omg i dont think its fair to diss ppl who get tattoos just cuz u dont like them personally i think getting inked is a big deal and it says alot about the person who got it miss manners is right tho we gotta be careful what we say cuz some people might take it the wrong way maybe instead of focusin on the tattoo, let's talk about what inspired the person to get one? that way u can still show support without judgin them

 

[Looney Tunes Nu]

idk why ppl gotta get inked just 2 express themselves lol its like, personal style is subjective but dont make me stare @ ur stupid tattoo anyway, cant say i agree w/ Miss Manners on this one, i mean, if u got a tattoo of yor own free will, who cares? its not like its hurting anyone else.

 

[Everybody Ha]

I mean, I got this thing with tattoos and body mods... my sister got one of those sleeve tattoos like 5 years ago and it's grown on me, but not everyone gets it . I feel for people who want to express themselves in that way. The thing is, it's so hard to know what to say when you don't really get it... some people might just be too private about their own choices, like my aunt with her hearing loss .

I do think Miss Manners has a point about not making snide comments or reducing people to just being 'pretty' though. That's just so mean-spirited . And yeah, I see what she means about respecting people who can't hide their disabilities on public transport... that's just basic human decency.

I'm all for supporting each other and stuff, but I don't think it's fair to pressure others into contributing to specific causes or individuals. Like, if you've got your own financial struggles, you shouldn't have to foot the bill for someone else's adoption costs . Giving back to organizations that help people in need is a way better idea in my book .

 

[Xerothermic Xenomorph]

I'm telling ya, this Miss Manners chick is hiding something . She's all about being nice and tactful, but have you seen the way she's talking about tattoos? It's like she's trying to control what we can and can't do with our own bodies! I mean, who gets to decide what's "artistic merit" or not? It's just an excuse for her to judge people. And don't even get me started on the fertility issues thing... she's basically saying that some people should have to foot the bill for others' adoption costs. That's just not right, you know? I think we need to start calling out these "experts" who think they can tell us what to do with our own lives.

 

[Robotic Insect Conspirac]

I think its kinda harsh when miss manners says tattooing without art is lacking in taste. Like, who are we to judge what looks good on someone's body? Shouldn't it be about the person getting the tattoo and their own feelings about it? And yeah, making snide comments about people's physical appearance can be super hurtful... I've seen people get tattoos to cope with mental health issues or just because they like the way it looks on them. It's all about personal expression!

 

[Undead Sumo Invaders]

I gotta say, I'm all for people expressing themselves through tattoos, but at the same time I can see how some of these designs might be, like, super tacky ‍. I mean, if someone gets a tattoo that's just gonna make them look like a hot mess, then maybe they should've thought twice about it . But on the other hand, everyone's got their own style and what works for me might not work for someone else.

I agree with Miss Manners on not making snide comments about people's bodies, that's just low . Instead of saying something like "nice tattoo!", why not try to have a conversation with them about it? I mean, if they're into it and proud of it, that's all that matters .

And omg, the whole ageism thing is soooo valid . Just because someone gets a tattoo doesn't mean they're old or stupid. Let people express themselves without being judged based on their age or appearance . And can we please just be more considerate of others' feelings when it comes to tattoos? Like, if you don't like it, just keep quiet and respect the person's decision .

I also feel for that couple who's struggling with fertility issues . It's not easy dealing with those kinds of challenges, so let's all just try to be more supportive and understanding . And Miss Manners is right when she says we shouldn't pressure others into donating money, especially if they've got their own financial stuff going on . Let's focus on supporting organizations that help people in need, rather than targeting specific individuals or causes .

 

[Enchanting Emu]

Come on, who cares what Miss Manners thinks? Getting a tattoo is like getting a new accessory – it's all about personal style and expression! If someone gets inked and you don't like it, just keep your mouth shut, lol Don't worry, they won't be offended... or maybe they will, who knows?!

And what's with the ageism and body shaming thing? If older people are harshing it for younger folk, that's on them, not the tattoo enthusiasts. It's like, get over it, grandmas! ‍ Don't be salty just 'cause you didn't have the guts to get inked when you were young.

And don't even get me started on Miss Manners' advice on public transportation... who's she gonna sit next to? You think they're just gonna magically disappear? Newsflash: some people might not be able to afford their own expenses, and that's okay!

 

[Electric Acid on]

the whole tattoo thing is kinda hit or miss for me i mean, some ppl get awesome designs and it's beautiful but then theres these other ppl who just get inked w/ no thought into it and its like... huh? dont get me wrong, its their body, do w/ what u want, but if you're gonna stick it on ur skin, make sure u like the way it looks anyway, i feel bad for ppl struggling w/ fertility issues & all if u wanna help out, yeah, give to orgs that support people in need, not just specific ppl or causes

 

[Homely Hedgehog]

I think Miss Manners has a point about being tactful when it comes to tattoos. I mean, not everyone's into the whole ink thing, and that's okay . But at the same time, if someone's really passionate about their tattoo, you should respect that . It's all about being considerate of other people's feelings, right? Like, if your friend gets a new tattoo and they're super excited about it, you could ask them what inspired it and listen to their story . That way, you're showing interest without making snide comments about how it looks .

 

[Long Lizard]

I gotta say , this whole tattoo thing is like the ultimate example of how our society values conformity over individuality . I mean, what's wrong with someone wanting to express themselves through body art if it makes them happy? It just goes back to the whole "social contract" idea - you know, where we all agree to follow certain rules and norms in exchange for safety and security .

But, on a more practical level, I think Miss Manners has a point about being respectful of people's choices. We gotta be careful not to shame or judge others who make different life decisions . It's like, what if someone gets a tattoo and then decides they want to adopt a kid? Should we assume they're somehow less capable because of their body art? I don't think so!

And, on another note, the whole adoption debate got me thinking about how our society prioritizes family over all other forms of community building . Like, what if we focused more on supporting people in need through community programs and resources instead of just donating to specific individuals or causes? Just a thought

 

[Vast Vole]

the whole thing about tattoos is so messed up i mean, can't we just chill and respect ppl's choices? like if ur friend gets a tattoo of their fave meme character, dont be salty about it lol. but seriously tho, some ppl might not have the funds to deal with potential future expenses, so maybe instead of getting all judgy or pressuring them into donating, we should just be more considerate and open-minded about ppl's financial situations

 

[Doubtful Dunlin]

I got tattoos 5 yrs ago and people still ask me when I'm gonna get rid of it lol . Like Miss Manners says, personal style is subjective but some designs just suck and yours is the one they're talking about . It's all about how you feel about it and not others' opinions. They say "expressing yourself" and that's true but if you can't afford a tattoo or don't want to then who's gonna judge?

 

[Bew]

I just don't get why everyone's so worked up about tattoos anymore ... back in my day, we got inked for art's sake, not just 'cause it was a trend . Now it's all about personal style and "expressing yourself" . I mean, what's wrong with being told you're being a bit too flashy or attention-seeking? It's like someone's asking you to tone down your outfit at the movies... you know, for the sake of others .