Life has come full circle for Michelle Law, a British-Australian writer who's penned a candid essay about her lifelong struggle with taking care of herself. Her mother's oft-repeated Cantonese idiom, "want beauty, don't want life," echoes through the author's childhood and teenage years as she navigated the treacherous waters of societal expectations.
As a young girl, Law's mother emphasized the importance of looking one's best at all times, cautioning her against the perils of an unattractive appearance. This mantra would stick with Law long after she grew up, influencing her relationships and decisions about self-care. She recalled her teenage years as a time when she succumbed to the allure of being "cool" – a persona built on makeup, trendy clothing, and a willingness to take risks.
However, this fixation came at a cost. Law's struggles with acne, fungal infections from salon tools, and an ever-increasing weight took its toll on her physical health. She began to realize that her pursuit of beauty had become a source of anxiety, rather than joy.
When Law became a mother, she found herself adopting a different set of priorities. Sunscreen replaced makeup, and a nappy bag became her constant companion. As she navigated the challenges of caring for a newborn, Law's focus shifted from appearances to functionality – a practical necessity that allowed her to prioritize her child's well-being above all else.
This newfound sense of purpose has brought Law a measure of peace, but she knows it won't last forever. She can only imagine the day when she'll have to pass on this idiom to her own son, imparting a lesson about balancing beauty with life. The weight of this responsibility hangs in the balance, as Law wrestles with the idea that she's passed on not just her values but also her vulnerabilities.
The essay serves as a poignant reminder that societal expectations can be suffocating, particularly for those from Asian cultures where the emphasis on physical appearance is often heightened. By sharing her personal story, Law offers a glimmer of hope – one that speaks to the resilience and determination required to break free from these constraints and forge our own paths.
As a young girl, Law's mother emphasized the importance of looking one's best at all times, cautioning her against the perils of an unattractive appearance. This mantra would stick with Law long after she grew up, influencing her relationships and decisions about self-care. She recalled her teenage years as a time when she succumbed to the allure of being "cool" – a persona built on makeup, trendy clothing, and a willingness to take risks.
However, this fixation came at a cost. Law's struggles with acne, fungal infections from salon tools, and an ever-increasing weight took its toll on her physical health. She began to realize that her pursuit of beauty had become a source of anxiety, rather than joy.
When Law became a mother, she found herself adopting a different set of priorities. Sunscreen replaced makeup, and a nappy bag became her constant companion. As she navigated the challenges of caring for a newborn, Law's focus shifted from appearances to functionality – a practical necessity that allowed her to prioritize her child's well-being above all else.
This newfound sense of purpose has brought Law a measure of peace, but she knows it won't last forever. She can only imagine the day when she'll have to pass on this idiom to her own son, imparting a lesson about balancing beauty with life. The weight of this responsibility hangs in the balance, as Law wrestles with the idea that she's passed on not just her values but also her vulnerabilities.
The essay serves as a poignant reminder that societal expectations can be suffocating, particularly for those from Asian cultures where the emphasis on physical appearance is often heightened. By sharing her personal story, Law offers a glimmer of hope – one that speaks to the resilience and determination required to break free from these constraints and forge our own paths.