My mother repeated one Cantonese idiom throughout my life: 'you want beauty, you don't want life' | Michelle Law

Life has come full circle for Michelle Law, a British-Australian writer who's penned a candid essay about her lifelong struggle with taking care of herself. Her mother's oft-repeated Cantonese idiom, "want beauty, don't want life," echoes through the author's childhood and teenage years as she navigated the treacherous waters of societal expectations.

As a young girl, Law's mother emphasized the importance of looking one's best at all times, cautioning her against the perils of an unattractive appearance. This mantra would stick with Law long after she grew up, influencing her relationships and decisions about self-care. She recalled her teenage years as a time when she succumbed to the allure of being "cool" – a persona built on makeup, trendy clothing, and a willingness to take risks.

However, this fixation came at a cost. Law's struggles with acne, fungal infections from salon tools, and an ever-increasing weight took its toll on her physical health. She began to realize that her pursuit of beauty had become a source of anxiety, rather than joy.

When Law became a mother, she found herself adopting a different set of priorities. Sunscreen replaced makeup, and a nappy bag became her constant companion. As she navigated the challenges of caring for a newborn, Law's focus shifted from appearances to functionality – a practical necessity that allowed her to prioritize her child's well-being above all else.

This newfound sense of purpose has brought Law a measure of peace, but she knows it won't last forever. She can only imagine the day when she'll have to pass on this idiom to her own son, imparting a lesson about balancing beauty with life. The weight of this responsibility hangs in the balance, as Law wrestles with the idea that she's passed on not just her values but also her vulnerabilities.

The essay serves as a poignant reminder that societal expectations can be suffocating, particularly for those from Asian cultures where the emphasis on physical appearance is often heightened. By sharing her personal story, Law offers a glimmer of hope – one that speaks to the resilience and determination required to break free from these constraints and forge our own paths.
 
🤔 it's crazy how our past experiences can shape us in ways we don't even realize. like, michelle law is literally reflecting on her childhood and how it influenced her entire adult life, from her relationships to her self-care habits... and it's so beautiful 🌸 yet also kinda scary? because now she's passing that same message down to her own kid, which puts a whole new level of responsibility on her shoulders 💪 what does it mean to balance our desire for beauty with the need to prioritize our well-being and happiness? is there even a right or wrong answer? 🤷‍♀️
 
I think its so cool how Michelle Law is finally owning her journey with self-care 🌞. Growing up, she was like me and my friends, always trying to fit in and look a certain way, but now she's all about prioritizing what really matters - her family's health and happiness 💕. Its amazing how our values and priorities can shift as we grow older and become parents ourselves, right? 🤷‍♀️ I love that she's passing on this lesson to her son, because it shows us that its never too late to make changes and forge our own paths ❤️.
 
omg I'm totally with michelle law on this!! 🤩 like, can't we just love ourselves for who we are without the pressure of looking perfect all the time? i mean, i've been there too, struggling with acne and feeling like i need to be 'cool' just because everyone else is. but now i'm all about self-care and being kind to myself 💆‍♀️😌 and it's literally changed my life! I love how michelle law has shared her story and is speaking out against the societal expectations that can be so suffocating 🗣️💖
 
LOL what's up with the whole "want beauty don't want life" thing tho? Like, is it really that bad to just wanna look good for once? I mean, my auntie always says she wants to look like a princess for special occasions 😂 but I know she actually cares about people and not just her looks. And yeah, societal expectations can be super suffocating 🤯 especially in Asian cultures where family pressures can be extra 😩. But come on Michelle Law, you're not alone! We all got our own struggles and it's okay to wanna look good every now and then 🌸👗
 
🤗 Michelle Law's essay is like a breath of fresh air! It's so inspiring to see her share her journey of self-discovery and how she's learned to prioritize her well-being over societal expectations 💖. I mean, can you imagine being told from a young age that your beauty isn't enough if you don't have life? 🤯 That's some heavy stuff! Law's story is a reminder that it's okay to take risks, make mistakes, and find our own way – as long as we're doing it for ourselves, not just to please others 💪. And I love how she's now embracing her motherhood with a newfound sense of purpose 🌸. It's a beautiful example of growth and self-love! 👏
 
🤯 I think it's so interesting how Michelle Law's essay shows how societal pressure can be really damaging, especially for women. Like, who needs all that stress about looking perfect when you're just trying to live your life? 🙄 And I love how she talks about how becoming a mom helped her shift her priorities and focus on what really matters – like her kid's health and well-being. That's such a big deal! It's also crazy how this idiom from her childhood is still influencing her now, but in a totally different way. 🤝 I think it's awesome that she's sharing her story to help others see that there's more to life than just being pretty. 💁‍♀️
 
I'm so moved by Michelle Law's essay 🙏, it's like she's speaking straight to my soul. I think we can all relate to feeling like we're trying to live up to someone else's standards, whether it's a family member or society at large. For me, it's the pressure to present this perfect online persona vs. being real and vulnerable 🤷‍♀️. It's crazy how much weight societal expectations can put on us, and I love that Law is speaking out about her own journey and offering hope for others who might be struggling too 💖.
 
I'm fascinated by Michelle Law's essay 🤯. It's like she's peeling back layers of a onion, exposing this deep-seated complex that we all try to hide. I mean, who hasn't struggled with the notion that their worth is tied to how they look? It's this constant tug-of-war between wanting to present ourselves in the best light and actually being okay with who we are.

I love how Law talks about her mom's idiom, it's like a masterclass on the dangers of internalized bias. I can see why that mantra would stick with her all these years, but what I admire most is how she's been able to break free from that cycle and create a new narrative for herself.

It's also interesting to see how she's passing this lesson on to her own son, it's like she's trying to prepare him for the same struggles she faced. It's almost like she's rewriting her own story, one that prioritizes self-care over societal expectations. I think that's so powerful 💖.
 
omg i totally get why michelle law wrote this essay 🤯 like my own mum always said im supposed to look pretty not worry about being healthy lol I remember when I was a teenager trying to fit in with the "cool" crowd but now id rather focus on eating well and getting enough sleep 😴🍳 as a parent it's been super eye opening for me too - my little one is growing up so fast! 🤯 i feel like im constantly finding new things to obsess over...anyway michelle law's story is really inspiring - she's showing us that its okay to not have all the answers and thats we dont have to conform to societal expectations 💁‍♀️💖
 
omg i feel like i've been there too...i think its so cool that Michelle Law is speaking out about this though! i remember when i was in uni, my friends and i would get sucked into trying to look perfect all the time - it was like we were addicted to the validation of social media. but looking back, it was such a waste of energy and happiness 🤯💄. its like Law's essay is saying that we need to relearn how to prioritize our own well-being over all this societal pressure. i'm definitely gonna have to look into some new self-care routines now...like who knew sunscreen could be so empowering? 😊
 
Can't believe Michelle Law's essay just broke me 😭... I mean, who hasn't felt like they're stuck in this beauty trap, right? 🤯 It's crazy how societal expectations can dictate every aspect of our lives, even when it comes to being a mom! 🙄 Like, sunscreen over makeup is LIFE.CHANGING. 🌞 I'm so glad she's speaking out about this because it's time we start having real conversations about self-care and what truly matters. 💖 As someone who's struggled with anxiety too (hello, acne and fungal infections 😩), I can attest that breaking free from these constraints is NOT easy, but IT IS possible 🌈. Let's raise our daughters to be strong, beautiful women who know their worth beyond their physical appearance 💪! 👏
 
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