The Stigma Surrounding Sex in Long-Term Relationships is Unjustified
For many, sex has always been a natural topic of conversation, especially among friends who are single or navigating new relationships. However, the moment an individual enters into a long-term partnership, discussions about their intimate life become a no-go zone.
Natasha Sholl, a married woman of 17 years, recounts how her approach to talking about sex has changed over time. "In my youth, nothing was off-limits when it came to discussing our sex lives," she says. However, now that she's in a long-term relationship, the mere mention of her sex life is considered taboo.
Sholl attributes this reluctance to discussing intimacy in long-term relationships as an outdated notion that borders on hypocrisy. When friends share stories about their parenting experiences, work dramas, or family dynamics, there's no hesitation or judgment. The same goes for conversations about grief, trauma, and their overall well-being.
The author highlights the double standard when it comes to sharing personal details in long-term relationships. She shares a poignant anecdote about Robert Delaney's memoir, "A Heart That Works," where the author candidly discusses having sex during his son's brain surgery – a testament that love can manifest as intimacy even in the most challenging times.
This sparked a discussion among Sholl's friends about the importance of talking openly about their intimate lives. They realized that sex is often an integral part of life, not just limited to new relationships or romantic endeavors. This conversation also touched on post-miscarriage sex, trauma, and its impact on relationships – all topics commonly discussed in everyday life.
The stigma surrounding long-term relationships' discussions of intimacy is puzzling. Why does married sex seem to carry a different weight than, say, house renovations? Practice indeed makes perfect; it's time to rethink the notion that long-term relationships should prioritize a certain level of physical intimacy over open conversation.
By normalizing these conversations, individuals can cultivate deeper connections with their partners and foster an environment where trust, understanding, and vulnerability thrive. As Sholl so poignantly puts it, "I'd much rather hear about your fantasies and self-pleasure than your new granite benchtop."
For many, sex has always been a natural topic of conversation, especially among friends who are single or navigating new relationships. However, the moment an individual enters into a long-term partnership, discussions about their intimate life become a no-go zone.
Natasha Sholl, a married woman of 17 years, recounts how her approach to talking about sex has changed over time. "In my youth, nothing was off-limits when it came to discussing our sex lives," she says. However, now that she's in a long-term relationship, the mere mention of her sex life is considered taboo.
Sholl attributes this reluctance to discussing intimacy in long-term relationships as an outdated notion that borders on hypocrisy. When friends share stories about their parenting experiences, work dramas, or family dynamics, there's no hesitation or judgment. The same goes for conversations about grief, trauma, and their overall well-being.
The author highlights the double standard when it comes to sharing personal details in long-term relationships. She shares a poignant anecdote about Robert Delaney's memoir, "A Heart That Works," where the author candidly discusses having sex during his son's brain surgery – a testament that love can manifest as intimacy even in the most challenging times.
This sparked a discussion among Sholl's friends about the importance of talking openly about their intimate lives. They realized that sex is often an integral part of life, not just limited to new relationships or romantic endeavors. This conversation also touched on post-miscarriage sex, trauma, and its impact on relationships – all topics commonly discussed in everyday life.
The stigma surrounding long-term relationships' discussions of intimacy is puzzling. Why does married sex seem to carry a different weight than, say, house renovations? Practice indeed makes perfect; it's time to rethink the notion that long-term relationships should prioritize a certain level of physical intimacy over open conversation.
By normalizing these conversations, individuals can cultivate deeper connections with their partners and foster an environment where trust, understanding, and vulnerability thrive. As Sholl so poignantly puts it, "I'd much rather hear about your fantasies and self-pleasure than your new granite benchtop."
, and people are still shying away from talking about their sex lives? I get it, some stuff can be awkward, but what's the harm in having a conversation about it with your partner? 
It's not like you're gonna make anyone uncomfortable or anything. And honestly, isn't that just another way of saying "I don't trust you enough to talk about our sex life" 
? I mean, what's the alternative? Having some sort of secret society where only married couples can discuss their fantasies and intimate experiences? 
That's just not how it works. We need to normalize these conversations and stop making long-term relationships feel like some sort of weird, platonic game. It's time to get real about intimacy and sex in partnerships! 
... like how we were going to have kids, or if our partner was cheating on us. But now it's all so different. It feels like as soon as you're in a long-term relationship, people just assume that everyone is perfect and never fights 
. Newsflash: relationships are hard work! You need to be able to talk about the good stuff and the bad stuff with your partner.
It's like they're creating this weird double standard where intimate stuff is just off limits. Like, Natasha Sholl's husband has been with her for 17 years and she's still gotta be "careful" about talking about it? Give me a break! 
She's right, though - intimacy should be normal in any relationship, not just the honeymoon phase. If they can have deep conversations about parenting or work stuff, why not their sex life? It's all about trust and communication, right? 
I mean, who doesn't want to talk about their fantasies with their partner? 
It's all about creating a safe space for vulnerability... and it's time we rethink this stigma surrounding long-term relationships. 
I totally get why people in long-term relationships feel like they need to be extra careful with the convo about sex 
) and it actually makes our relationship stronger 
. So let's give it up for Sholl and others who are normalizing these conversations – it's time to rethink the stigma surrounding long-term relationships' intimate talk 
.
I feel like Natasha is totally right, you know? It's like we're expected to put on a different hat when we get into a long-term relationship. Like, we should be all 'romantic' and not talk about the messy stuff that actually keeps us sane together 
. But honestly, why can't we just talk openly about it? It's our lives, right? We're already sharing everything else with each other - work drama, family issues, financial stress... but somehow having sex is off-limits 
. They want us to believe that sex in long-term relationships is some kind of taboo topic, so we don't talk about it and keep everyone's thoughts locked up tight 
. But I'm calling BS, folks 
! 
in long-term relationships!! people r like 
its all about trust & understanding 
grief trauma stuff is all good 2 discuss 
its time 4 a change 
let's break the stigma & have more open conversations 
my friends r always gossiping about their partners' drama, but sex?? 
let's talk about all the juicy stuff 
trust me, deeper connections are made when we're all vulnerable & open with each other 
. We should be having those kinds of conversations, not avoiding them 
. Its all about trust and communication, you know? 
. like how can you just avoid talking about something that's super normal for most people? 
? 