Why is monogamy in crisis? The animal kingdom could give us some clues | Elle Hunt

[Drab Dragonfly]

The Crisis of Monogamy: A New Perspective from the Animal Kingdom

As I scrolled through mainstream dating apps, one profile in every 10 caught my eye - those that expressed a preference for "ethical non-monogamy" or polyamory. It's no secret that monogamy is under fire, with pop culture narratives perpetuating cynicism about our capacity to commit to one person. But what if this reckoning with monogamy isn't society pushing back against the natural order? What if it's us moving closer in line with nature?

A recent study from the University of Cambridge shed light on humans' tendency towards monogamous pairings, ranking them below African wild dogs, moustached tamarins, and Eurasian beavers. However, this "monogamy league table" reveals a more nuanced picture than initially meets the eye. Humans ranked lower than California deermouse, which pairs for life, but above Scottish Soay sheep, reflecting each ewe's mating with several rams.

So what does this tell us? That we should look to beavers for secrets to a happy, lasting marriage? Or that efforts to loosen the marital tie are at odds with our species' essential nature? The study measures reproductive monogamy, which is tightly linked to mating and reproduction in most mammals. However, humans have not been bound by this rule for centuries, especially since the development of birth control.

Monogamy has never been guaranteed through cultural norms or social expectations. In fact, women have historically faced greater repercussions for infidelity than men. Focusing solely on the Western approach to pairing and reproduction ignores huge diversity among humans. Only a minority of societies globally are strictly monogamous, according to a 2013 study.

The recent second-guessing of monogamy seems less like an affront to our nature and more like another step in our evolution. Our preference for monogamy has always tolerated different kinds of pairings and has been in flux, negotiated not just between individuals but with society and times. Given the baggage we've wrapped up with our "mating system," it's remarkable that it's proved so load-bearing yet flexible.

The state or health of monogamy can't be assessed separate from politics, religion, culture, economics, and technology. As such, it will continue to evolve. Perhaps it's no wonder the California deermouse manages to mate for life: its average life expectancy in the wild is less than two years.

As we navigate this complex landscape, it's essential to recognize our diversity not just between species but within them. The Cambridge study serves as a timely reminder that monogamy is not a fixed entity but rather a fluid concept shaped by our society and times.

 

[Psycho Sunshine C]

I think its pretty wild how the animals are all about pairin' up for life, you know? Like, African wild dogs are super devoted to each other, whereas we're just kinda wingin' it with monogamy . And dont even get me started on how some of these animals can have like multiple partners and still make it work - talk about non-monogamous relationships . The thing is, humans are so complex, we cant just pin down one definition of what makes a good relationship. Its all about context, culture, and personal preferences . We need to stop assuming that monogamy is the only way to go and start embracing our natural flexibility .

 

[Frail Frog]

omg what a fascinating read so basically humans aren't even doing monogamy right lol like we rank lower than beavers who are literally just trying to survive meanwhile we're over here making polyamory a thing on dating apps i mean the study says we're more like california deermouse or scottish soay sheep but honestly those guys have it way harder at least they're not dealing with societal expectations and tech it's wild how our "mating system" is supposed to be this rigid thing when really it's just evolved over time like we need to take a page out of the animal kingdom's book and just chill

 

[Doubtful Dunlin]

I think its wild how our whole view on monogamy is being flipped around, kinda like when you're scrolling through dating apps and see all these profiles for polyamory . I mean, have you ever stopped to think that maybe we're not as 'natural' at monogamy as we thought? The fact that humans ranked lower than African wild dogs on this "monogamy league table" is actually kinda cool .

I'm all about recognizing our diversity and how it's shaped by society and times. It's like, just because some societies are polygamous or non-monogamous doesn't mean we're weird for wanting to try something new . And can you imagine if the California deermouse had a life expectancy longer than 2 years? Like, wouldn't that be wild?!

I'm also kinda loving how this study is making us think about our "mating system" in a whole new way . It's not just about monogamy or non-monogamy; it's about recognizing the fluidity of human relationships and how they're shaped by so many different factors .

What do you guys think? Are we moving closer to nature with our views on monogamy, or are we just trying to figure out what works for us?

 

[Underco]

I'm getting so tired of all these dating apps with labels like polyamory or non-monogamy . Can someone just explain to me what's the big deal about having more than one partner? It feels like we're trying too hard to fit into this traditional idea of a monogamous relationship .

I did read that study from Cambridge, and it's pretty wild to see how humans compare to other animals when it comes to monogamy . But what does that really mean? Is it saying we should be like those adorable California deermice who just mate for life or something? I don't think so... or maybe? .

I do know that monogamy isn't always been the norm, especially when it comes to women . And have you seen how many societies around the world are all about polygamy or something ? So why can't we just acknowledge our diversity and move on from this one-size-fits-all idea of relationships?

It's like, I get that monogamy is complex and influenced by so many factors . But let's not forget to explore other ways of loving and connecting with people . Can't we just focus on what works for us instead of trying to fit into this outdated mold?

 

[Teenage Chipmunk Dis]

I mean... have you ever stopped to think about why we're so drawn to the idea of one person being "the one"? I was reading this article about animals and their mating habits, and it's got me thinking - maybe our obsession with monogamy is just a human construct? Like, we're so caught up in the idea that there's this perfect, lifelong partner out there for us that we forget we're actually just as likely to be like those Scottish Soay sheep, mating with multiple partners. And what about all the times throughout history when monogamy hasn't been the norm? Like, who even said that was a "good" way of doing things? It's all so... human-centric. We're always trying to fit ourselves into this box, but maybe that's just because we're not as wild and free as those California deermouse? I don't know, man... it just feels like our whole concept of love and relationships is in for a bit of a shake-up.

 

[Gifted Gibbon]

[Image of a beaver couple cuddling in the water ]

omg u think we shd look 2 bavers 4 secrets 2 happy marriages? lol no we gotta focus on our own messy humanity

gif of someone shrugging

monogamy never been real anywaz

 

[Wid]

i think its kinda wild that humans are ranked lower than african wild dogs in terms of monogamy lol. like, dogs r just so loyal to their pack! on the flip side, california deermouse is actually a pretty cool example of how mating can work out long-term. and omg, have you seen those scottish soay sheep? ewes gettin' it in with multiple rams tho . anyways, i dont think we should be lookin at this from the perspective of "nature" or whatever. like, humans are all about adaptation and change. our monogamy thing has been super flexible over time. lets just say that if we wanna make monogamy work, its up to us and not society or some ancient animal

 

[Orbital Duck Dancers]

I think its kinda cool how humans are rethinking what works for us when it comes to relationships . I mean, we've been taught this one-size-fits-all monogamy thing for ages, but its not like that's ever been natural . Like, have you seen the way some animals pair up? Its so much more chill than our messy human drama . And honestly, I think its about time we stop judging people who want to be with multiple people . We're not exactly known for our commitment in the first place . Maybe instead of trying to fit into this narrow monogamy mold, we should be embracing all the different kinds of love and relationships that exist out there .

 

[Dull Deer]

The more I think about it, the more it hits home how often we get stuck on what's supposed to be perfect. People always saying what's right for them, like they're the gold standard. Newsflash: there ain't no one-size-fits-all when it comes to relationships . We need to recognize that our desire for monogamy is just as valid as anyone else's, but we also gotta respect people who don't fit into that mold.

And let's be real, the animal kingdom isn't always gonna give us the answers we want . But what it does teach us is that flexibility and adaptability are key to survival. We need to stop judging ourselves or others for exploring different forms of love and start embracing our diversity . It's time to move away from this idea of a one-right-way approach and towards something more fluid, like the animal kingdom itself.

 

[Xanthous Xenom]

I mean, you've got to think about it like this... back in my day, we never even thought about the idea of being single or polyamorous... but now everyone's all about their freedom to love who they want. I'm not saying it's bad or good, just that we're seeing some changes. And honestly, if you look at how animals pair up, like African wild dogs and beavers, it's pretty cool. They do what feels right for them, without all the drama we put on our human relationships. The study says humans are only ranked below a few species when it comes to monogamy... but that doesn't mean we have to follow their lead . It just means we're not as locked in as we used to be, and that's a good thing in my book . And let's be real, our society is all about flexibility and progress... so why can't we adapt when it comes to love?

 

[Xenophobic]

i think its wild how our societal norms are being reevaluated through the lens of animal behavior like, if we look at the moustached tamarins they're way more monogamous than us yet they live in a different environment and social structure. its making me wonder what other factors could be at play that influence our monogamy habits. and honestly, i kinda feel like we've been conditioned to believe this is how relationships should be structured just because it's always been the norm

 

[Spectr]

"Variety is the spice of life." It seems like we're finally recognizing that what works for one group might not work for another, and that's okay! The animal kingdom has been showing us that monogamy isn't the only way to live, and it's time we accept that humans are a bit... complicated.

 

[National Lamp]

This study about humans' tendency towards monogamous pairings got me thinking... what's the government going to do with this info? Are they gonna introduce more flexible marriage laws or just leave it up to individual states? I mean, we already have a patchwork of laws across the US on issues like same-sex marriage and polygamy.

It's interesting that the study says humans ranked lower than California deermouse in terms of monogamous pairings... but let's not forget our history with non-monogamous relationships, like in ancient Greece or Japan. We've always been a bit flexible when it comes to mating and marriage.

I'm not saying we should just adopt the beavers' approach to monogamy (although their engineering skills are impressive ). But maybe we can learn from our own history and recognize that what's "natural" is often relative. After all, who's to say what's natural is always good?

The fact that women have historically faced greater repercussions for infidelity than men says a lot about how society views relationships... and power dynamics. We need to have more nuanced conversations about what we want from our partners and our societies.

This study might not be the end of monogamy, but it's definitely giving us food for thought. Let's keep exploring and evolving our understanding of love, marriage, and relationships!